PredictMeLife

Today, clouds are hiding the sun and it isn’t
nearly as dramatic as I hope. My voice pulak, ade ura2 nak berubah jadi
superrockstar (“yea-yeah!” amok bandi punye suare gitu).

I have perfected the art of silent-order. Kalau
tangan mak can do wonders and tangan aku can create monsters, mate aku
buat semue keje tu untuk aku. Takyah bukak mulut. Pandang je dengan sekian2
degrees, kecikkan mate sket, dorang akan ckp “ok la ok la orang tak buat”
ataupon “ok la ok la orang buat skarang” depending on the situation. Haha
bijak2 belaka adik2 aku nih. (yeah I seriously feel like the evil sister but eh
at least they know kaum hawa dalam umah ni are not going to clean up after them
24/7 so I don’t care about labeling. Well….not that much la :p)

Mak dah boleh makan dan jalan sikit2. Aku still
pantau mak (ade ke mak nak pegi vacuum umah time dah rase lega sikit. Mak aku
nihhh…). Smalam mak makan satu periuk kecik bubur sayur and few godknowswhat
herba yang aku buat. Aku rase sedap je so edible utk dimakan la kot haha. And
mak didn’t throw up. That’s a good sign right? (for both my cooking and mak’s
illness)

Sis5 akan take over kat sini awal august ni (wait
ni dah awal august la ni kan d’uh). She’ll come home few days later. Takde la
risau sangat nak tinggalkan mak dengan budak2 kat sini.

Aku cakap kat budak2 aku tanak balik KL kang nanti
takde sape nak masak basuh pinggan basuh baju kemas umah semue. (err, no adik2
laki aku not into house chores. Tukang tambah keje kat dalam umah, very
much). Bro7 cakap “ala takpe kakngah,
kakngah balik je. Aman dengan abang boleh makan angin” and die sedut udara
macam spongebob buat (Kawaiiii. Cair jap - tp macam la kenyang kan huh).

Awal pagini aku sempat tengok iklan merdeka kat
Tv3, made by Tv3. Sangatlah kiut tengok budak2 tu on screen. So natural. And of
course Adibah Noor is too cute when in uniform askar. Patriotikkah aku?

My brother got under a reversed car at a shopping
mall. I’m not sure whose fault it was. Either the driver reversing too fast
from a parking space, or my brother for not seeing the car coming out. Whoever
fault it was, I know one fact for sure.

Aku: “I’m not stopping you and getting you out of
your car to sue or anything as such. I just want you to please change your
reverse light. It’s not functioning. I’m big and I can see you coming but for
kids the size my brother, they can’t. And he went down your car for it. He’s
lucky today. But tomorrow might be someone else’s mishaps. So please, change
the light”.

I don’t know why the reverse light became such a
huge issue to me but it seemed vital then and she should know the danger she
could cause others.

Of course when I said all those words politely the
wounds on bro7 didn’t turn out half as bad as it would later on. (The skins
were all gashed out and torn about horrifically but amazingly no blood flowing
out of it). I didn’t panic then… not yet.

Old lady: “Don’t you dare be rude to me! It was the
kid’s fault for not seeing my car backing up! Is he demented? Are YOU
demented?”

OMG! I DID NOT see that coming. I mean, a
six-zero-plus years old woman is capable of saying mean things?. She looks as
if she’s ready to wilt and have a seizure heart failure any minute. At
least that’s what she portrays to me. I didn’t want to disrespect her in any
way but after letting her open her mouth, I wanted to mutilate her.

I did not grow up rebellious for nothing!. I
opened my mouth, ready to throw a fit.

As if on cue, someone tapped me from behind. Caught off guard, I abruptly jumped sideways, almost knocking down bro7 down (again). There, stood a lanky very pleasant looking man in his mid two-zeros (I can’t believe I have time to even observe that but you don’t really need much time to note the details, really), looking down on us 3 (erm and few more crowds I was able to attract then).

Him: “I saw from afar and I think you should sue”.
And I’m hearing this from you because…

As if reading my mind, he handed me his business
card.
Him: “I’m an attorney at such and such company. And
I think you have a very solid case here”.
Owh-kay…this is crazy.

I feel as if I’m being sucked into a bad movie and somehow I’m the main (or mean) pak pacak trying to make sense out of the revolving madness.

Him: “I know how bad it will be. I was one of the
victims”.
While saying that, he rolled his sleeves upwards
and I could see years-old scars rooted all over his arms. And they’re not the
macho scars I fancy, trust me. I nearly burst into tears picturing my brother
with the same scars years later.

Gritting my teeth, I turned to the old lady,
mouthing word by word…
Aku: “I.think.you.should.apologize”
Just apologize and I’ll forget this ever happens demmit!

Die tunjal kepale aku repeatedly (I don’t know what
other words for tunjal). Hard. Very hard.
Where are the cops when you need them?!

Old lady: “You’re crazy! (pointing to me). You’re
crazy! (pointing to the attorney). You’re all crazy! (pointing to the crowds).
Get away from me!!!”

By now a huge crowd already circled us 4 and her
car. She has no way out but walk. Some pointing fingers at my brother’s wounds
(fresh blood flowing out at free will by now), some whispering and pointing at
the car, the driver and me as if explaining to the late comers the storyline.

What began as a small favor turned out to be out of
control. I just want the old lady to politely apologize. No, I want her to just
apologize for hurting my brother but she’s so whacked arrogant. I am so
not backing down.

She has ego issues I can tell. Maybe she was a sad
workaholic woman during her wonder years and no one bothered to tell her so.
Maybe her husband died after telling her his piece of mind and she can’t take
it.
Argh why do I bother to indulge stupid issue in my head when I’m in the middle of a chaos?!

I’ve had enough. I took her car registration
number, scattered the items in her bag on the road and took her purse for ID
and license number. I took off.

She grabbed my head from behind and flung me on the
roadside. OMG how can she be old and mean AND strong?!. The pleasant
looking attorney peeled her off of me. I got up, confusingly unsure of what
just attacked me. The old lady was ready to launch her assault again.

If I said the attorney trying to talk me into suing
is crazy, well I was dead wrong. THIS is CRAZY!

I just want to get my brother to the hospital as
fast as I can I don’t have time to deal with her madness. I have never been
thankful for the law. The cops arrived, along with lunatic van. Whoever called
the crazy-house, thank you.

And thank god for the attorney cos I didn’t end up
having the cuffs and white jackets all over me (regardless of me looking like a
lunatic being thrown about). The old lady did. I spare some time to smile at
her, opening my mouth to let her know what I REALLY think of her.

“Angah angah aishah nak susu”.
Oh maaaaannnn…aku baru nak jd super EVIL tadi urgh!
Oh well at least I got the last smirk before I got
up. Hah in your face crazy old lady!

Moral of the day: Ade la sebab orang tua2 ckp tak elok tidur senja2. (Need anymore proof?). Not good for
the brain and the mind. 

P/S – The dream above does not relate to any old
women I know of and might just be a fiction of my brain trying to work me out
off dreamland. So please, don’t condemn me of being disrespectful to the
elders. *peace*

Mak’s
illness didn’t wear off yet. Bapak fly balik KL malam ni. Aku akan
follow suit few days later. So of course I feel reluctant to fly
knowing mak is unwell here.

Smalam mak vomits a lot. (Aku asik jot down happy stuff here sbb aku nak semue orang senyum tiap kali bukak page ni but for once I’d like to say what I really feel and this much I feel I know is true. Everytime
aku picit urut peluk mak, bertakung je air kat mate. It’s hard seeing
mak this way. Not being able to stand for long, not being able to speak
that much, not being able to sleep even. The mak I know is strong.
Granted she’s still human but she never has illness this bad and it
breaks my heart everytime I think of leaving home. If bapak is the breadwinner, then mak is the pillar holding us all from falling apart).

Smalam
je, berbuih mulut ajak mak pegi check up. (Now I know where I got my
dislike towards hospital-meds-docs from). Aku kureng sket pecaye
klinik2 ni. I mean, I know they’re doctors tp dorang pon manusia gak.
How can they know inside-out of every patient’s body just by looking on
the outside kan. (No matter how detailed the patient describes the
symptoms). You tell them, "I feel throbbing here" (point to the head),
they give you panadol and migraine meds (no, really they give you loads
of panadols here). You tell them, "I feel slightly cold", they check
your temp and hand you over fever-flu-cough-panadol meds. So yeah I’m
not into clinics.

So harini, lepas light breakfast, kitorang rush ke Normah Specialish kat Petrajaya.

Mak
vomits again sebelum masuk jumpa doktor. Kalini keluar air2 and
green-yellowish goo. This became mak’s ritual the last few days.
Whatever she eats, she throws right back out seconds later. But out of
the sickness chaos, my parents looked very cute it just melts my heart.
Bapak yg pegang mak masuk bilik air waktu muntah2 tu. Aku? I got stuck
being NannyMcPhee urgh. Punye la payah nak jage budak kecik ni…

Setengah
hari melepak kat hospital tu. Mak buat semue scan-xray-check up needed.
Bapak ade meeting at 2, so hantar kitorang balik dulu time zuhur. Sian
bapak tak sempat nak makan ape2 pon kat umah. After lunch sikit and
solat, aku dengan mak pegi balik for more check ups. (oh I’m good with
roads here now)

Thank
god it was nothing serious (you don’t want to
know what illness I have in mind). Mak was diagnosed with virus
infection. Her
supposedly ‘migraine’ wasn’t really one. Virus tu ade dekat neck-head
blood
vessels tu yg sebab mak rase sakit semacam je tu. Doctor bagi meds
untuk stop
the virus from going further down the system. (They have lots of female
doctors kat sini. Sangat senang dan selesa utk kaum hawa yg agak
memilih doktor macam kami2 nih). If after 10 days the pain still ade, kene pegi balik for more thorough check ups. (hopefully takde la)

Oh and bro7 masak nasi 1^st time in his
eleven years life. Mak bagi instruction via the phone je. Buat loudspeaker. He
was like, “mi mane periuk nasi?” since mak susah nak ckp, aku take over. “Bawah
sink” was my reply.
Bro7: “Kite ade periuk warne pink?”
*Gedegang*

Ok I’m beat. Now my head pulak yg throbbing painfully slow. Hope I didn’t catch hospital bug I can’t afford to fall sick now. Lying down for a little while.

P/S
- Hopefully, Insya-Allah mak will get better (soon). Kalau mak tak
baik2 lagi, I might change my mind scrape off that plane ticket to
KL and bail out from attending convo. (This is the only mak I have I refuse to bargain). Shhhh, don’t tell bapak about this he’ll flip out and I’ll never hear the end of it.

Almost every morning kat sini disambut dgn hujan.
Kadang2 renyai, kadang2 lebat. Seolah2 satu kemestian bagi hujan mencecah bumi
diwaktu pagi. Hujan itu rahmat kan…

So last weekend aku dgn adik2 laki pegi kat masjid
dekat umah ni. Ade program keluarga kat situ. (excuse the unfocused and
randomness of the pictures. Hujan got in the way *haha alasan :p*).

Walaupun hujan pagi2 tu, berderet jugak kenderaan
parking dekat kawasan masjid tu. Meriah jugak nampak program tu, despite being
raining and all.

Ade
peraduan mewarna utk kanak2 (very cute sbb bangsa lain pun masuk compete jugak
kat masjid ni), ade pertandingan azan (“org lambat sign up” was bro7’s excuse
but I think he’s just too shy to display his voice to the public) and byk lagi
pertandingan utk kanak2.

And of course mesti ade mkn2, jual barang2 semue.

Aku tak stay long sbb ramai kawan2 bapak dok stop
bro6 dgn bro7 tanye aku ni anak yg ke brape, dah habis blajar ke, blablabla. So I was like blergh I have to get
out of here. Bli laksa Sarawak, mee kolo, nasi lemak and few
random kuih muih, head back home. Phewh!

***

Lewat petang, pegi jalan2 kat
I-do-not-remember-where-but-the-scenery-wowed-me. I don’t really feel like
going out sbb mak tak brape sihat, tp mak was like, “sekdah tak pegi lagi
tempat ni nanti nak balik dah”. So I went lah. Punye la jauh and bumpy and
penuh konar2 tempat tu. Nasib baik bawak bekal makan. Ade gak aktiviti mulut
dan perut yg leh dibuat sambil tgk pemandangan kampung. (Kawaiiiiii!!!!)

Err, not this scenery I was talking about. (The OZ’s long legs haha)

This is one of the few cute pix taken by bro7.

Bapak and the kids looking down at I’ve no idea what in
the water. (aku dok terbayang ade buaye je. Ntah kenape ntah so I stayed quite
far off the tembok haha penakut).

Budak ni on the other hand, tak takut punye orang.
“Kakngah jom pegi sini. Aishah nak pegi hujung sekali tu”. I was like, “Err ok
jom. Let’s hold hands” <— L.O.S.E.R! Wekkkk!!!

Tepi2 plank ni ramai orang memancing. Tapi
sepanjang yg aku ade kat situ, tak nampak plak hasil tangkapan dorang. Ikan
malu2 kucing barangkali.

And then it’s time to head back home. Dah nak senja
dah. Takut tak sempat nak sampai bandar before maghrib. (and we’re back to the
liku2 road urgh!)

We saw rainbow on the way back. I feel blessed. Thank you Allah…

Dgn segala
dukacitanya tamatlah sudah riwayat Huaweiku yg macho ini. Sadaqallahul’aziim… 

She (did I just gave a gender to it? bwahaha freak) just stopped functioning. Marah kat aku barangkali. Tengok lame2, kesian aku rase
kat handphone ni. Banyak gile scars die. Tercampak, sengaja dicampak, tersepak…terhempas, sengaja
dihempas…Isk…Kalau ade kes mencari pendera handphone (and mp3, and laptop, and other possible gadgets), aku rase aku number one suspect kot.

I am SOOOOOO sad. Selamat tinggal my faithful friend. You have been good to me. I wish I could say I was good to you too but…….

Oh well mari beralih kasih kepada ‘penghubung
dunia’ yg baru.
Stop being so unappreciative jerk Saidah(!).

P/S - Kalau korang contact aku tade respond tu, paham2 je la ye. I’m not in the mood to get me new one. Ok I lied hohoho. *frantically searching for new mobile*

Last few days were health conscious days. Most of
our dishes are either steamed or boiled.

And very much of this. (My least favorite blergh pahit).

Sup kambing, sup ikan and more soups.

Well sorta healthy haha. Of course we have other
fried/cooked things too. Budak2 laki mane tahan makan makanan tawar camni…
Bro6 went, "Perempuan tak elok kurus2 sangat. Macam skeleton".
Look who’s talking… *rolls eyeballs*

And a whole lot of this. Bapak’s fevret. Salad
pedas masam manis. Nyum nyum…

Them —> All hail to the future of healthy living.
Aku —> (speak for urself ppl :p) I’m back to being a junkie. Where’s my junk food?

I can’t grasp the local lingo here. For real.
Like few days back, bro6 was running late to school and the bus driver was
already downstairs blaring its horn away (it’s early in the morning la). So aku
call la guard house kat bawah “Lokman sudah turun. Suruh tunggu”.

Next thing I knew the van just ran off to school
without him. He was like, “what did u say?” and I went defensive and said, “kakngah
cakap lokman dah turun la”. And of course I got the award of sending and
picking him to/from school that day heh.

Tengah harini pulak, Aman ade skolah agama.
(iklan: Btw mak masak nasi ayam harini. Sempena b’day kaklong. Kaklong aku dah
makankan dah on your behalf). Selalunye pakcik Mat tu akan amek pukul 1:45.
Pukul 1:30 die call umah. Aku malas nak angkat tp since tepon sebelah je aku
time tu, takde la alasan nak suruh org lain angkat hehe.

(In a hurry as if I’m-on-a-world-saving-mission-so-don’t-waste-my-time tone),
“Hello ya suruh Ahmad Salman turunin. Ahmad Salman. Turunin”
I was like, “ha ye err ok” wait what did he just said again?

Adik aku tu baru la nak abeskan makanan die. Terkocoh2 budak tu basuh tangan pastu turun. Aku tengok dari beranda (was that how it’s spelled in malay wateverlah). Around 10 minit, no sign of the vehicle. Aku pissoff la. Apahal suruh budak tu turun cepat2 tadi tp tak nampak pon batang idung. Aku suruh Aman naik semula.

Aku suruh Aman call pakcik Mat (cos I can’t speak their way and I doubt aku paham ape yg dicakapkan pon). Die kate lagi 10 minit die akan sampai. *Gedegang*. Bapak baru balik dari ofis untuk lunch and he was like, “ape pakcik Mat tu kate tadi?”

Aku: “Die cakap cepat2 sangat. The only thing I heard was Ahmad Salman turunin. Turunin. Orang denga turunin tu banyak kali la”.
Bapak: “La turunin tu turun kejap lagi”
Whaaaaaaaa….? I thought turunin is their way of saying turun?

So…
Turun = pergi
Turunin = turun kejap lagi
Turuntu’ = turun sekarang

Like HELLO we’re using the same language with
different meaning WTH.
I am SO not going to answer phone anymore kat sini.

I’ve tried raiding this lappie inside out but
couldn’t find your photo. Dunno where I put it but eh no worries I’ll upload it
once (and if) I get my hands on it. For now, just use this pix (and Aman will be pissoff
mad and say “but I have that teeth now!” haha sori dik. That’s the only pix I
can steal. Ngeeee…)

It
matters not the number of years in your life.
It
is the life in your years that matters.

Happy birthday Along. You’re the only big sister I have in this whole wide world…so be nice to me (haha takde kene mengene tp that does sound nice if you’re the younger ones). I could write a whole prayer book for you, but all in all, I pray you live the greatest life you could ever live and be the best that you could ever be. May Allah keep you under His Rahmat. Always. In this life and the HereAfter.

Bapak cakap, sempena penambahan satu tahun ni, banyakkan bertaubat. Penambahan setahun bermakna lagi dekat kita ke arah dunia lagi satu. (yeah leave it to bapak to bagi tazkirah pagi2 harijadi hihi). He means good and
I’m just a messenger so don’t shoot me.

Pressie u ask? Eh you got me singing u birthday jingles in Korean, that’s a present itself kan? Bukan senang nak denga aku melalak kaw2 over the phone tengah2 malam OK. Dengan pitching lari ke laut hehe sorry you had to hear that. Bwahaha. Neway, your pressie’s on the way but don’t hold your breath tho.

And err, no you’re not 17 anymore no matter how
many people sez u look 17 so don’t perasan perasan OK. Grrr…no people, she’s NOT 17. I said no. (but wait if you’re 17 that means I’m 15? Haha then she’s 17
people)

If
we listened to our intellect, we’d never love.
We’d
never have a friendship.
We’d
never go into business, because we’d be cynical.
Sometimes
you’ve got to jump off cliffs
and
build your wings on the way down.

I [HEART] you Along…=}

I’m beginning to have certain aversion towards the
multicolored pixel box.

Harini kluar paper yang permulaan puasa, bulan Ramadhan, dijangka mula pada 13 September. Kalau betul, yippie yeay yeay! Aku ske!!!

Kat sini, aku raya in advance haha. (blom pose dah
raye tak senonoh punye budak). Jemput, sile makan kuih raye. Don’t sangka rupe
cantik rase tak sedap tau. Sedap hingga jilat jari. Sungguh…